Author: momtothree3

English Driver

Driving in town today I was reminded of something funny that continued to take place when I visited England.

After flying 11 hours we were greeted by our driver who would be taking us to our host home. We crammed our luggage into the back of the car and in his pleasant English accent he suggested I go sit upfront in the passenger seat. So I did just that. I went and stood by the passenger door waiting for it to be unlocked. He came up and I could tell by the look on his face something was wrong. Do you know what it was? I was at the wrong door…. Yes, that’s right, I was actually at the driver door. You see, I was in a new place and they did things differently than what I was familiar with in my own town.

 
In my exhaustion and unfamiliar territory I automatically did what was ingrained in my mind to do, by habit…. 
You would think by the end of the 7th day I would have learned, but it happened again a few more times until finally on the last day I didn’t find myself at the driver door. It is a funny story to me now, but at the time I kept thinking why can’t I get this simple thing down!! 
 
The same thing happens to me spiritually. 
2 Corinthians 5:17 tells us we are a new creation. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:The old has gone, the new is here!” That is some very exciting news. The old is gone, the new has indeed come. But…. for me at times, I revert to the familiar of the “old”.  And when I find myself tired or out of my comfort zone sometimes the old ways just happen to me, I gravitate to them more easily.
 
Ephesians 4 says to put off your old self, the old ways, old thoughts. Paul continues on to say get rid of these things, the former ways.  These things are bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice (revenge).In Galatians 5 the list is sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy drunkenness, orgies, and things like these.
 
When I am in a God groove walking in the “new” is much easier, but when my defenses are down, I am tired, worn out, that is when the old self will be more likely to show up without me even knowing it. That is when I find myself wanting to sneak back into the drivers seat, instead of the passenger seat!! 
 
Oh Lord, help me to have you in the drivers seat and continue to rid myself of the “old” me as you fill me with your thoughts, your ways, your fruit of the Spirit. 

Seek Who??

Who do I want to find? Who do I seek? 

If I am looking for one of my children, I begin looking in their rooms. Well, actually, two of them I enlist the help of “find my iphone”.

     Where the teenagers cell phone is, there you will find him or her…. That’s not scripture, that’s just Kathi truth….

     If I am looking for one of my kids, there are certain places I know to go, certain names I know to yell. Of course the gentle Mom yell. But seriously, I don’t go looking for my children in places I know they wouldn’t be found. I certainly don’t drive across town looking for them in random places. When I want to find my own child, I don’t go looking for a different child to see where the other children hang out, I want to find my child….. It would be silly and a waste of my time if as I were seeking to find them, I looked in places they wouldn’t be…. Especially if I were really, truly trying to find them.
     In the same way, when my children come to find me, they know where to look. First they knock on the bathroom door… I am sure if you are a mom, the same is true for you! My children know me, my patterns and my habits. They even know when we are not home and both cars are in the driveway, we are on a walk. Often we will see one of them at the end of our walk coming our direction. It is kinda crazy and cool they know us this well!! They know our favorite places to be, to play, to eat, to rest, to pray, to sing, to vacation, our children really really know us! If they want to find us, that is what they spend their time doing, looking for us. They even know on those rare occasions when they have looked for us in all the normal places, how to call us because they know many details about us, without fail they always have our phone numbers memorized.
I am deeply struck with the truth of how many times I am told in scripture;
you will seek me… Stopping right there for a moment.  you will seek me!!
Not seek anything or anyone else.
and you will find me. Stop right there too, and you will find me!!
Not something or someone else.

When you seek me me me with all of your heart.

Jeremiah 29:13, Proverbs 8:17

It isn’t a game of “hide and seek” with God. It sounds like it, but that isn’t who He is. He wants to be found, seen and heard by those who truly look to find Him with all of their hearts. Laying down my personal desires, sin, pride, cares, worry, fear, predispositions, control and look for Him with all of my heart. He hasn’t made it difficult, but it does take my entire heart.

    Jesus himself said “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?”
     I can only find Him when I look for my own pride to be lifted up or to be right in my perceptions of who God is. That one stopped you in your tracks….. No, that is not at all true…. That’s not what He said…. I have to lay aside my pride and look for Him and He can be found, knowing as I look for my Father, He will not give me a stone or a snake…. I love what a good gracious Father He is, He loves His children who He made in His image. We are His children, called, destined, and can find him just like our own children find me.
If I seek Him, I will find Him, when I seek Him with all of my heart.
He is indeed a good good Father.
 Matthew 6:33
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Deuteronomy 4:29
But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul.
1 Chronicles 16:11
Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.
1 Chronicles 22:19
Now devote your heart and soul to seeking the Lord your God.
Psalm 9:10
Those who know your name trust in you, for you,Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.
Psalm 14:2
The Lord looks down from heaven on all mankind to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God.
Zechariah 8:21
and the inhabitants of one city will go to another and say, ‘Let us go at once to entreat the Lord and seek the Lord Almighty. I myself am going.”
Matthew 7:7
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”
Luke 11:10
For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
Or
Psalm 10:4
In his pride the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God.

The Fishes Great Commish

   
     I went in to my son’s room this morning to feed his fish. Often the poor fish is forgotten and doesn’t get to eat as much as he probably needs. This fish is so very dependent on us to feed him, if he ever gets hungry he has no ability to take care of his own hunger. Even though it is only a fish… It still makes me sad. If he were living in a place that was more free and open, he could eat whenever he wanted, but he would also loose the protection of the little tank in our house. There are times honestly when we are very busy with our other life responsibilities, the little fish will not be taken care of the way he needs to be.
     Often God will parallel life situations for me with the truth in His word. And this morning He happened to use a little fish, yes indeed, a nameless little goldfish. He actually has had several names, but we forget the name, and then he gets a new name for awhile….
      I began to process, as I long as I have been walking with the Lord, how many times do I expect to be hand-fed by the leaders within my church. With this idea that unless they feed me I have no ability to feed myself. Unless I only swim and work within those church walls, I will be eaten up or will loose my food source.
      I have leaders, purposely to help me learn, grow, and ultimately fulfill the great commission. But, if I only stay continuing to feed and grow within the four walls of the church, I am limited in my ability to feed and grow myself and limit my ability to fulfill His call for my life.
     The food and growing for this little fish are great! He keeps eating, everyday… well, he should be eating everyday except the days we forget him…. He keeps growing too. He has tripled in size since we first got him. But, he really honestly has no purpose outside of swimming in his little tank and waiting to get fed again, so he can grow some more….
     How many times do I just eat, grow, eat, grow, but do not ever use the growth and food to get out there for the purpose God gave me?
“All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.  Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,  and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
 
What a great commission, truly!! 
 
All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to Jesus.
Because of that, go.
Make disciples, of who?  Jesus
How?  Baptize them in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
Teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.
Walk as the disciples did, that is who he was talking with during this time.
Do we do this all by ourselves? Jesus is with us…. to the end of the age.
 
Food without purpose is, well, purposeless…..
Growth without a meaning,  is meaningless….
Commission restricted to church walls, isn’t a “great commission“….

Dance

If you have been in church for any length of time you have answered or heard the question “what do you do for God?” Which inevitably that question comes with all kinds of answers. As someone who grew up in church, I have heard the numerous incredible things God has enabled His children to do in His name.
This morning as I had an empty house, which a very rare, I found myself, music cranked up dancing throughout the house.
I know… I shocked myself more than you!

After I tuckered myself out dancing (which probably looked more like galloping) I just laid on the floor, talking to Him. Telling Him thank you for all that He has done. Thanking Him for giving me a dance…. I feel like so often out of a desire to appear worthy to Him and others, I or we begin to label everything we have accomplished in His name. We even speak of going to church as what can you do, or what can you give. It’s not about us, it’s about Him….

But somehow we have missed the first step of it really being about Him. Our testimony becomes riddled with all the accomplishments we have done for Him.

I have missed the testimony of what has He done for me?
Well, this morning He gave me a dance for an audience of One.

He truly desires our hearts and our worship above all else.

Please share with me, what has He done for you?

But I will sing of your strength; I will sing aloud of your steadfast love in the morning. For you have been to me a fortress and a refuge in the day of my distress.

Singers and dancers alike say,
“All my springs are in you.”

Mirror Mirror

I was remembering back when our 2 year old pup had just come home. She would run to the mirror and growl and bark. Not only did she not know who was in the mirror, she didn’t like who was in the mirror. For weeks she would run around the corner and stop in her tracks as she got a glimpse of herself, and again start barking and growling as she became belligerent to the “face in the mirror”.
…..eventually she stopped looking in the mirror and would avoid it at all cost.

Kathi iphone 2014 050

I am much the same. When I was spiritually younger, I would look in the mirror as spoken of in James 1 “like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.” Not only avoiding the mirror of God’s word and His son, but eventually I stopped letting God refine and point out those scary, ugly weaknesses…
I became offended by them, but not to the point of change, but to the point of avoidance.

I have such a good, loving heavenly Father, that if I agree to sit down with Him and let Him provide the mirror… He will show me what He wants to change, grow, refine, redeem, restore and make beautiful.
BUT I have to be willing to look with Him. The lovely part of how He does that is… He doesn’t let me stand there alone as I look, He is right beside me wanting to help me and offer a solution to what we see together. He does this “mirror looking” to heal me, not to shame or condemn me. In His word I am assured in Romans 8 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.”
If I ever hear my heart telling me He wants to condemn me by “mirror looking”, it just is not truth.

The first part of that verse in James says “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.”

To think I can actually deceive myself if all I do is just listen to God’s word and know what it says, but I never do anything about it…. I can believe just to know more about His word makes me more into His image and disregard being a do’er of His word. It is like my pup who not only didn’t like what she saw, but eventually avoided looking all together. The mirror became too much confrontation for her lil puppy heart….

Oh Lord, as painful as it can be, continue to take me to the mirror of your word and show me what you see. May I keep growing to be a doer of your word not just a distant looker of your word…..

Rest at Christmas??

I have been sitting on the couch today after getting a phone call that our daughter was sick….. When I picked her up I realized from her behavior, that her symptoms from a concussion three weeks ago had come back. After researching quickly, it is quite normal if you have pushed yourself too much. A weekend filled with all kinds of wonderful activities for a young teenage girl at Christmas time had pushed her too far. It all came swooping in this morning while she was at school, completely unannounced. A concussion supposedly is a shut down of the brain, or a restart of the brain, and rest is what helps the brain to come back to the healthy place it had been. Apparently, if you push it too much, the brain does another shut down because it really needs rest to heal.

She needed and needs more rest, even though she did not want it. She has not wanted to miss anything fun, good or exciting.

As I have sat couch-side, I have been reflecting. God has created such sweet rest or Sabbath. He even rested.

I have been reminded how often I don’t value the rest God valued. He esteemed it so much He created it and partook in it. There are many things He has done for our benefit, because we need it. But the Sabbath God created, He then, on the seventh day rested…..

Genesis 2:2 By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work.

How interesting if I get up too soon from the rest all those same symptoms, whether physically or spiritually, come swooping back in completely unannounced. A spiritual concussion, so to say….

I don’t value rest. I have to learn to value rest quickly… Right now if I don’t learn how to value rest and how to actually rest in that rest, my spiritual and physical health is a stake.

And if I don’t learn to value rest, my daughters health is at stake. I will unknowingly let her put herself in harms way.

This time of year, it is not convenient to take a break, to sit in stillness…. That can happen January 2nd. Sometimes Our Father has different plans, and I can either disagree and struggle with Him on His timing, or I can enter into the rest He knows I need.

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
Psalm 91:1

Return to your rest, my soul,
for the Lord has been good to you.
Psalm 116:7

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,
for I am gentle and humble in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls.
Matthew 11:28-29

Really, who am I that I would act or say to God something He created, I don’t need…..

He Must Increase

One of our children will get the opportunity to use their gifting this week, and even their heart’s concern is they may be a distraction, that eyes may see them instead of Jesus. Their desire is people won’t miss the experience of meeting with their heavenly Father. So we chatted about this topic….

Our conversation reminded me of John who was sent only as a messenger. Even John knew, “He (Jesus) must increase, but I (John) must decrease”….

It is such a fine line between self-promotion vs God-promotion. It is important to seek, pray and ask for even the deep desire to see Him lifted high, to see Him greater, to see His name in flashing lights. I am encouraged to ask God for the desires of my heart, and if the desires of my heart are “out of whack,” or “self-focused” I can even approach Him and ask for Him to change those desires.

Psalm 37:4-5

Delight yourself in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord;
    trust in him, and he will act.

I can read this verse as God gives me whatever my heart desires, or I can read this as I delight in Him, and He moves, prompts and guides my heart’s desires so they fall in line with His will, not mine. It is the difference between thinking “I desire a new car” or I need God to transfer or grant a different desire in me.

If we are given the opportunity to have flashing lights with our name, or have an opportunity to speak, sing, dance or anything that gives us a public forum…. If our name is highlighted, we must take the opportunity to highlight His great name much more.

When John said I must decrease, he didn’t say both he and Jesus must decrease. It is important we remember how to increase our Heavenly Father when He gives us the forum to do so. John was well known, and in some cities more well known than Jesus. But he knew his purpose was to exalt Jesus far above himself. In those cities where John’s name was more known, he had greater work to do in lifting up the name of Jesus far above the name of John.

Oh Jesus, please continue to place in me the desires that fall in line with your heart.

Compassion Trumps

My recent prayers have often been, “Lord give me more compassion.” The same compassion Jesus had, as he walked this earth. He has shown me so much this week, given me greater understanding in a short amount of time.

One thing I can say coming out of, or still in this experience with my husbands surgery, I have several different choices as I go through tough things in this life.

Once he was released from surgery things were very rough. As I looked at this once strong man, struggle to breath and continuing to set off alarms in the recovery room, I just stood there beside him, whispering “breath, take deep breathes.” I had my hand on his chest continually praying asking the Lord for His covering, and praying He would remove fear from me so I could continue to have thoughts from the Lord and prompts from His Spirit. The car ride home fear continued to try to make its way into my mind. I am bringing home a man who cannot stand, cannot walk, cannot lift his own body, and who is in tremendous pain. How will we do this?
But keeping every thought captive I kept choosing to take those thoughts to the Lord, praying for more mercy.

This week we have not only had my husband’s surgery, but so many friends and family dealing with much more than their share of trials. Being in such a difficult place ourselves, my heart aches for our friends and family. I know what it feels like for a situation to be out of my control but have to stay in it. I know what it feels like for valid fears to overtake my mind and heart. I know what sleepless nights do to me and my brain capacity, even as little as it was previously….. I know what it feels like to wonder when will this let up, even a little.

We seem to live in a culture of comparison. Even comparison with struggles and trials with this idea of “you have no idea what I am going through, so you cannot help.” I have found this week that it doesn’t matter to me who has been in our exact situation. Or if I have been in their exact situation. Comparison in trials and struggles isn’t productive or healthy. We have felt so much love and care from all different friends and family, that is what touches our hearts beyond any circumstance.

But there is indeed beauty in this place….
There is beauty in the friends that rise up alongside of us.
There is beauty in reassuring our children “God has not left your Dad, or us.”
There is beauty in continuing to pray, every step of the way for the Lord to be near, and prayers to help us draw near to Him.
There is beauty in anticipation for the time I get to sit with my Heavenly Father and pour my heart out before Him.
There is beauty in standing beside someone whispering “breath”.
There is beauty in the tears on the way to school and the opportunity to speak truth and pray for my daughter.
There is beauty in the cloudy sky that keeps the sun out of my husband eyes when he couldn’t move.
There is beauty in the struggle, no the struggle isn’t beauty, but there is so much beauty in the midst of the struggle.
There is beauty in the worship song that speaks more to my heart this day than it did last week.
There is beauty in knowing a call, a text, an email from a friend is a reminder God is prompting so many around us to keep lifting us up to Him.
There is beauty in searching my soul for those many things I must be thankful for because my God is a loving Father.

This season will not be lost on me, on us. The Lord will use it for His glory. The Lord is teaching me what the compassion of Jesus looks like, and is deepening my love and friendship for Him. My choice is to continue to look to Him and fix my eyes on Him. My choice is to pour out His love and compassion as I am able to those around us. Our Heavenly Father is indeed very good to us, and my heart is overwhelmed with gratitude.

Purity Promises

This morning I read a blog about a young woman who at age 10 made a vow of purity before her church, family, and friends. She speaks of the pain the purity stance placed in her marriage, the loneliness that came shortly after she was married.
She no longer holds to the purity promise.

There are many parallels I can identify with in her story. Growing up with the idyllic religious background that saving yourself for marriage somehow covers all other marital issues, and the unspoken idea that if you wait for marriage the enemy is “hands off” to you, your spouse and marriage. Growing up in the church, there was this perception given to young girls, sex before marriage is “bad”, but after is “good”.

Although I believe this has many scriptural contexts, there is a considerable amount of damage that can be done by these half-truth beliefs. Frankly by overly focusing on the “sex” part of marriage. This idea can instill fear of sex in young girls that cannot process through this deep scriptural idea. In a world that is overly sexualized the church cannot completely turn the other way and call all things “sex” related sinful. For me as a young teen I would walk through my high school thinking, “bad” girl or “good” girl? I also carried shame from sexual things done “to me” without my consent. I had been made a “bad” girl not by my choice.

The deeper issue I had shortly after we were married was I held a skewed view of sex and believing it was ugly and perverted, it derailed my intimacy with the person God intended to be my “playmate” in life. The man God gave me to share a relationship with intimately, and was supposed to be the deepest relationship with a person I have this side of heaven. And it just wasn’t…. I was carrying mountains of fear. I had been taught to guard, guard and guard more. As a young girl and teen I had this idea to guard my heart, my body, my mind, and don’t let anyone get in otherwise it will lead to sin. While I believe guarding your heart and thoughts is necessary, it certainly didn’t make for an intimate marriage. I was not supposed to guard my heart, mind and body with my husband, but I was and did.

Looking back there were major pieces missing in the purity stance for me. I walked with this idea of what defined “good” girls and “bad” girls and I wasn’t walking with the heart of Jesus. I wasn’t viewing young women as God’s daughters, dearly loved. I couldn’t see much beyond the purity stance. I saw them through a religious belief, not through the eyes of Jesus. I viewed myself also through the religious beliefs and it allowed me to think more highly of myself than I ought…. I remember the Israelites also struggled when Jesus came to save all, not just them. When He came not to condemn, but to save…..

I will share, I think intimacy is awesome and incredible. But if there is one thing the enemy would like to continue to spoil, ruin, pervert, or strain it would be intimacy. Not necessarily “sex”, but intimacy which involves sex. “Sex” is just sex, but intimacy in marriage defined by webster is ” close familiarity or friendship”, and that includes sex. If I don’t have intimacy with my husband the beautiful way God intended and it is broken and ruined, it can change the way I view intimacy with God. If I guard my heart, body and mind from my husband, I can unfortunately unconsciously guard my heart, mind and body with God as well. The fall of man/woman was broken intimacy, they then tried to hide(guard) from God.

I believe the purity stance needs to be spoken of carefully. Less talk of sex, more talk of intimacy with one and with The One.

The world has this view of “sex” as bringing the intimacy we all desire. But it is the intimacy that we desire that brings the “sex”. The world has idolized sex and not intimacy. We must carefully speak truth not only about the caution of premarital sex but more importantly speak of intimacy with God and how broken intimacy harms our relationships.

And pray for our sons and daughters, their friends, and other parents.

Adam and Eve had broken intimacy with God.
Abraham and Sarah had broken intimacy.
Jonah had broken intimacy with God.
The world believes and promotes it is all about sex
I think it is all about intimacy, true and pure intimacy……

Skunked

My original Facebook post:
De-skunking dog remedies that actually do work??

Our dog got skunked this weekend!!!

hollydog

CRAZY…… Casey and I could smell skunk upstairs, and I went running downstairs knowing Holly the dog was in the backyard. I wanted to bring her in before she messed with the skunk. When I opened the door and grabbed her collar I knew…
Too late!

She smelled so bad, and had this sad pitiful look on her face. I yelled to Casey, “Holly got sprayed!” He came down and we took her to the garage not knowing what in the world we would do. I used dishsoap and reached out on FB to ask if anyone knew how to de-skunk a dog. Thankfully we were given some great advice and we began de-skunking Holly. We took her into the shower and started scrubbing this concoction of peroxide, soap, and baking soda and slowly the strong smell was leaving.

Of course, this morning I was thinking of the parallels for us as believers. Holly unknowingly got herself into something that left residual smell. She really didn’t mean to do it, but nevertheless, she did. Then she needed help to get it off, she couldn’t tackle it on her own. We had to enlist someone who had already been through this for advice.

I am at times unknowingly get myself into all kinds of mess, and once I do, I smell. Those close to me, mostly Casey, can smell it and know it is there. Thankfully he will try to help me get it off, but it takes some work, and I have to want the smell gone. With skunk smell, interestingly the longer you let it stay on your dog, the more difficult it is to get off. The smell literally soaks in further and can’t come off as easily as when it just happened. I even read (I love research) letting them lay in the sun shine will also help.

The Lord doesn’t want us to stay in our mess for very long, He knows the longer we stay in it, the deeper it soaks in. Sometimes, He needs to use those near us to help it off, especially if they know the recipe of how to clean it up. The very cool thing is even laying in the Son-shine will also help cleanse whatever needs cleansing.

I love how Galatians 5 tackles this freedom and begins by saying “13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free.”

We are supposed to be transformed into the likeness of Him, the very day we follow Him. Living free from those things that stink us up.
2 Corinthians 3:17 ” 17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”

Our Holly is smelling just fine for now. But we know, she very well may get skunked again!!