Our photographer says we do the angry look pretty good as a family…. it made us laugh. We love our photographer, he is a dear friend and he would ask us to be serious, then he would chuckle saying we all look angry. Our family times are usually filled with joy and laughter.

This year though a not-so-welcomed guest tried to come in again, uninvited. The similar way a fly will enter in when a door is left open this guest came much the same way, and this wasn’t the first time. This unwelcomed guest was suicide and depression. It wasn’t one of us as parents dealing with suicidal thoughts and depression, but one of our incredible kids. Our kids really are amazing! If you know us, and our family, like really know us, it would be shocking to hear. This time wasn’t the first time, although we didn’t know the depths, we knew this guest was lurking near, trying to find a way inside. This time it peaked with a 3:30am waking with several authorities at our door. Let me cut to the chase as to not make this horridly dramatic. Our child is good, and fine, now….  And the 3:30am visit from authorities was a timely warning this particular guest was trying to stake claim to our child.

Why in the world would I even choose to share this? Expose this to those who would want to perceive our family a certain way? Why would I let the reality beyond the family pictures be seen or heard??

Because, this unwelcomed guest of suicide and depression was ushered out…. As the light of Jesus was ushered in.  I believe His children really need to know He is our conqueror! Seriously, even over death. In the middle of our process, my strong husband said “I don’t feel safe in my own home, we need to lock our bedroom door tonight.” I said “we will not bow to this thing, it cannot stay.” And I grabbed his hand and prayed “as for me and my house we will serve the Lord.” (As well as a few other things.) We slept with our door wide open that night, and really did sleep.

Honestly, it got uglier before it got better, but our Father says He will send a helper who will testify of Jesus. Jesus IS our redeemer, IS restorer, and IS authority over all things on earth and in heaven. Where the enemy tries to come steal, and lie, the only way to conquer that is by truth and light in Jesus. But those things that remain hidden often aren’t exposed to His light, His redemption, His restoration, so they remain like an unwelcomed guest.

Do I wish we didn’t go through this… twice… Maybe. But, God won. Which means, we won. Which means, our child won! And is still winning.
How did we win?

We had to breakdown every stronghold and lie that was not built up in Christ Jesus, and rebuild (still building) those beliefs back up in Jesus. With the Holy Spirit’s leading this child became tethered to us for a season (God showed me this in a dream). Every noise, every voice other than the love of Jesus was silenced (yes, that included Social Media). It was and is a process, a hard process, but I can tell you the unwelcomed guest was evicted. We do not host unwelcomed guests in our home. I know it may sound simplistic, it is with the help of Jesus. The determination to fight for our child not against our child is what helped us through. I deeply believe what Revelation 12 says “they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony,” the continuing testimony of His freedom must always be told by His children.

I like to say although we do the “angry” faces well, they are actually the faces of FIERCE.