My recent prayers have often been, “Lord give me more compassion.” The same compassion Jesus had, as he walked this earth. He has shown me so much this week, given me greater understanding in a short amount of time.

One thing I can say coming out of, or still in this experience with my husbands surgery, I have several different choices as I go through tough things in this life.

Once he was released from surgery things were very rough. As I looked at this once strong man, struggle to breath and continuing to set off alarms in the recovery room, I just stood there beside him, whispering “breath, take deep breathes.” I had my hand on his chest continually praying asking the Lord for His covering, and praying He would remove fear from me so I could continue to have thoughts from the Lord and prompts from His Spirit. The car ride home fear continued to try to make its way into my mind. I am bringing home a man who cannot stand, cannot walk, cannot lift his own body, and who is in tremendous pain. How will we do this?
But keeping every thought captive I kept choosing to take those thoughts to the Lord, praying for more mercy.

This week we have not only had my husband’s surgery, but so many friends and family dealing with much more than their share of trials. Being in such a difficult place ourselves, my heart aches for our friends and family. I know what it feels like for a situation to be out of my control but have to stay in it. I know what it feels like for valid fears to overtake my mind and heart. I know what sleepless nights do to me and my brain capacity, even as little as it was previously….. I know what it feels like to wonder when will this let up, even a little.

We seem to live in a culture of comparison. Even comparison with struggles and trials with this idea of “you have no idea what I am going through, so you cannot help.” I have found this week that it doesn’t matter to me who has been in our exact situation. Or if I have been in their exact situation. Comparison in trials and struggles isn’t productive or healthy. We have felt so much love and care from all different friends and family, that is what touches our hearts beyond any circumstance.

But there is indeed beauty in this place….
There is beauty in the friends that rise up alongside of us.
There is beauty in reassuring our children “God has not left your Dad, or us.”
There is beauty in continuing to pray, every step of the way for the Lord to be near, and prayers to help us draw near to Him.
There is beauty in anticipation for the time I get to sit with my Heavenly Father and pour my heart out before Him.
There is beauty in standing beside someone whispering “breath”.
There is beauty in the tears on the way to school and the opportunity to speak truth and pray for my daughter.
There is beauty in the cloudy sky that keeps the sun out of my husband eyes when he couldn’t move.
There is beauty in the struggle, no the struggle isn’t beauty, but there is so much beauty in the midst of the struggle.
There is beauty in the worship song that speaks more to my heart this day than it did last week.
There is beauty in knowing a call, a text, an email from a friend is a reminder God is prompting so many around us to keep lifting us up to Him.
There is beauty in searching my soul for those many things I must be thankful for because my God is a loving Father.

This season will not be lost on me, on us. The Lord will use it for His glory. The Lord is teaching me what the compassion of Jesus looks like, and is deepening my love and friendship for Him. My choice is to continue to look to Him and fix my eyes on Him. My choice is to pour out His love and compassion as I am able to those around us. Our Heavenly Father is indeed very good to us, and my heart is overwhelmed with gratitude.

This morning I read a blog about a young woman who at age 10 made a vow of purity before her church, family, and friends. She speaks of the pain the purity stance placed in her marriage, the loneliness that came shortly after she was married.
She no longer holds to the purity promise.

There are many parallels I can identify with in her story. Growing up with the idyllic religious background that saving yourself for marriage somehow covers all other marital issues, and the unspoken idea that if you wait for marriage the enemy is “hands off” to you, your spouse and marriage. Growing up in the church, there was this perception given to young girls, sex before marriage is “bad”, but after is “good”.

Although I believe this has many scriptural contexts, there is a considerable amount of damage that can be done by these half-truth beliefs. Frankly by overly focusing on the “sex” part of marriage. This idea can instill fear of sex in young girls that cannot process through this deep scriptural idea. In a world that is overly sexualized the church cannot completely turn the other way and call all things “sex” related sinful. For me as a young teen I would walk through my high school thinking, “bad” girl or “good” girl? I also carried shame from sexual things done “to me” without my consent. I had been made a “bad” girl not by my choice.

The deeper issue I had shortly after we were married was I held a skewed view of sex and believing it was ugly and perverted, it derailed my intimacy with the person God intended to be my “playmate” in life. The man God gave me to share a relationship with intimately, and was supposed to be the deepest relationship with a person I have this side of heaven. And it just wasn’t…. I was carrying mountains of fear. I had been taught to guard, guard and guard more. As a young girl and teen I had this idea to guard my heart, my body, my mind, and don’t let anyone get in otherwise it will lead to sin. While I believe guarding your heart and thoughts is necessary, it certainly didn’t make for an intimate marriage. I was not supposed to guard my heart, mind and body with my husband, but I was and did.

Looking back there were major pieces missing in the purity stance for me. I walked with this idea of what defined “good” girls and “bad” girls and I wasn’t walking with the heart of Jesus. I wasn’t viewing young women as God’s daughters, dearly loved. I couldn’t see much beyond the purity stance. I saw them through a religious belief, not through the eyes of Jesus. I viewed myself also through the religious beliefs and it allowed me to think more highly of myself than I ought…. I remember the Israelites also struggled when Jesus came to save all, not just them. When He came not to condemn, but to save…..

I will share, I think intimacy is awesome and incredible. But if there is one thing the enemy would like to continue to spoil, ruin, pervert, or strain it would be intimacy. Not necessarily “sex”, but intimacy which involves sex. “Sex” is just sex, but intimacy in marriage defined by webster is ” close familiarity or friendship”, and that includes sex. If I don’t have intimacy with my husband the beautiful way God intended and it is broken and ruined, it can change the way I view intimacy with God. If I guard my heart, body and mind from my husband, I can unfortunately unconsciously guard my heart, mind and body with God as well. The fall of man/woman was broken intimacy, they then tried to hide(guard) from God.

I believe the purity stance needs to be spoken of carefully. Less talk of sex, more talk of intimacy with one and with The One.

The world has this view of “sex” as bringing the intimacy we all desire. But it is the intimacy that we desire that brings the “sex”. The world has idolized sex and not intimacy. We must carefully speak truth not only about the caution of premarital sex but more importantly speak of intimacy with God and how broken intimacy harms our relationships.

And pray for our sons and daughters, their friends, and other parents.

Adam and Eve had broken intimacy with God.
Abraham and Sarah had broken intimacy.
Jonah had broken intimacy with God.
The world believes and promotes it is all about sex
I think it is all about intimacy, true and pure intimacy……

My original Facebook post:
De-skunking dog remedies that actually do work??

Our dog got skunked this weekend!!!

CRAZY…… Casey and I could smell skunk upstairs, and I went running downstairs knowing Holly the dog was in the backyard. I wanted to bring her in before she messed with the skunk. When I opened the door and grabbed her collar I knew…
Too late!

She smelled so bad, and had this sad pitiful look on her face. I yelled to Casey, “Holly got sprayed!” He came down and we took her to the garage not knowing what in the world we would do. I used dishsoap and reached out on FB to ask if anyone knew how to de-skunk a dog. Thankfully we were given some great advice and we began de-skunking Holly. We took her into the shower and started scrubbing this concoction of peroxide, soap, and baking soda and slowly the strong smell was leaving.

Of course, this morning I was thinking of the parallels for us as believers. Holly unknowingly got herself into something that left residual smell. She really didn’t mean to do it, but nevertheless, she did. Then she needed help to get it off, she couldn’t tackle it on her own. We had to enlist someone who had already been through this for advice.

I am at times unknowingly get myself into all kinds of mess, and once I do, I smell. Those close to me, mostly Casey, can smell it and know it is there. Thankfully he will try to help me get it off, but it takes some work, and I have to want the smell gone. With skunk smell, interestingly the longer you let it stay on your dog, the more difficult it is to get off. The smell literally soaks in further and can’t come off as easily as when it just happened. I even read (I love research) letting them lay in the sun shine will also help.

The Lord doesn’t want us to stay in our mess for very long, He knows the longer we stay in it, the deeper it soaks in. Sometimes, He needs to use those near us to help it off, especially if they know the recipe of how to clean it up. The very cool thing is even laying in the Son-shine will also help cleanse whatever needs cleansing.

I love how Galatians 5 tackles this freedom and begins by saying “13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free.”

We are supposed to be transformed into the likeness of Him, the very day we follow Him. Living free from those things that stink us up.
2 Corinthians 3:17 ” 17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”

Our Holly is smelling just fine for now. But we know, she very well may get skunked again!!