My experience with forgiveness… Am I really going there?? Why yes! Growing up as a PK, I have heard since I was young forgive, forgive, forgive…. Not seven times, seventy-seven times forgive….

Here is my reality with forgiveness. It is hard. That’s it. Hard.
I am not talking about the little spills our children do at the dinner table, or the forgetting to take the trash out on trash pickup day. Sometimes, I pat myself on the back for easily granting forgiveness in those times. But it is those deep rooted, long lasting places of hurt that the Lord is also asking me to forgive.

Is it because somehow He needs it? More than I do maybe? No, not exactly. He knows I need it. He knows I have given that issue, offense, or that hurt and pain a place of importance in my mind and heart.

Follow me with this thought… If I have given that pain or offense residence or a special place in my mind or heart, I begin to place a tremendous value on it. I say things like, “that’s just how I am,” or “I am that way because of the abuse I went through.” “I am just broken.”  If the meaning of worship is is to revere, honor, or respect, how have I turned my unforgiveness into a place that I worship? I have given it a place of honor in my heart, I revere and I give it respect (like, “don’t touch that” respect) and I even make decisions based on my unforgiveness. If I switch that thinking upside down with how I view my pain, hurt or unforgiveness this is what it looks like; by using the antonym or opposite of worship this is the stance I should have with my own unforgiveness….. I should have disdain, disrespect, humiliation, disloyalty, hate for my unforgiveness. Wow, that is really powerful!

The Lord doesn’t ask for us to forgive because it is easy, or simple. He asks because He knows the root of it will take our worship away from Him and will continue to deepen the hurt in our hearts, minds and souls. I also notice the Lord doesn’t give “forgiveness exceptions”, not in regards to wounds by parents or siblings, not our friends or neighbors, not even our children or the person who was texting and driving and rear ended my car…. There is no verse that gives any exception, period.

There are over 100 verses that speak of forgiveness, and over 60 are in the New Testament. Col 3:13 Bear with eachother and forgive….My own testimony is forgiveness of deep hurt from wounds a long time ago, but our God has moved in mighty ways and continues to move in mighty ways through that difficult, and complicated act of forgiveness and continued to help my eyes and devotion to be on Him alone. May I never underestimate the power of the Lord through forgiveness.