40 Fasting Days

……some of the simple lessons the Lord has taught me these last 40 days leading up to the WPH night.

“Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” Matt 4:19
“Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me.”
Matt 10:38

-He needs me to follow Him. Only Him.

“In God we make our boast all day long, and we will praise your name forever.” Psalm 44:8
“Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.” 1 Corn 1:31

-The only thing I can ever boast in is the Lord and His goodness.

“Fear of man will prove to be a snare,
but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.”
Prov 29:25

-Trusting the Lord, finding identity in Him, more than people.

“Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.”
“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”

-My walk must be covered in His love, not my love, His perfect love.
Covered, doesn’t mean sprinkled. Covered, devoted, never leave you, bound….

Although I have personal testimony of the Lord healing me, and have watched miraculous healings happen these last 40 days…. He has prompted me this time to devote my heart to Him, give testimony when appropriate and for His name to be glorified at all times in all situations.

Never-ending Hike

Never-ending Hike

Sunday morning I had mentioned to my husband I really wanted to head out of town. A lake, a river, ocean, or since we are in a major drought here in California, even a pond would work. Deep down I really wanted to connect with God our creator, be reminded of His beauty, and lucky for my family I wanted them along for the ride….

My husband made a few connections with friends and got the scoop on some places up in Tahoe that would make for great hiking. The one we chose would drop us out at a beautiful waterfall at the end of the trail. The background of our family isn’t totally necessary other than this information, we do not hike…. We don’t own hiking shoes or apparel, we don’t really know how to follow trails, but despite all of that, we were still on our way.

The hike started out with extreme exuberance, boys climbing on rocks, even the 14 almost 15 year old was jumping on logs, rocks, and creek walking. My heart was overjoyed watching our boys enter into nature so quickly. I was immediately thanking God for this beautiful trail, creek, family, and the eagerness our kids had to do the “outdoorsy” with us.

We could always visually see the waterfall in front of us, and even if for a moment the waterfall was obscured by a big evergreen tree it was only momentarily covered. As we hiked, it was our visual reminder of where we were heading. Never loosing sight of the waterfall ahead of us, that was what kept us on track. After what seemed forever on the trail, we came to a place where we were hiking over massive granite boulders, the heat from the sun was pressing down on us from above and the heat from the rocks coming up were colliding on our bodies, and we were all exhausted. Remember we don’t hike, so apparently you should bring plenty of water while hiking…. One of our children drank his entire bottle of water within the first 20 minutes of the hike and was now begging for someone else’s water. One of our other children in desperation asked if we could just turn around and go back.

At that same moment, I could see the waterfall and it appeared we were so close, I could even hear the sound of rushing water. My heart was telling me, just a little further, hang in there. Honestly, my body was saying turn around before you die out here…. Yep, overly dramatic. Encouraging our kids to hang in there for a little while longer, they dragged their feet over the largest, longest granite boulder we had encountered and through a thicket of mulberry bushes and guess what happened?

We were there, we had made it along with all the other people who had made the same trek as this non-hiking family. We just stood there in amazement that we were so close to turning around, giving up, and yet the refreshing water was closer than we ever imagined. We spent a good amount of time, eating lunch, cliff jumping into the water (even me), and creek walking. Our family hike day was terrific.

The Lord often parallels daily life stories for me. I was able to think, how often do I do this in my walk with Him? He is working something in me, building me up, creating new disciplines, building stronger muscles and creating new ones too, uhg. At times, I am so close and I can see what He is doing, the good that can come from all the growth. My heart and mind want to keep going while keeping my eyes on the Lord, but my body says “let’s turn back.” Or even, “going back might be easier than forging ahead.” Endurance is so hard, especially spiritual endurance.
But we have hope, and we need to remember who holds the heavens in place, also holds our hope.

Colossians 1:10-12
so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.

Whether it is growth or trial, find your hope in Him. Keep your eyes fixed on Him, He is our deliver, strength and hope.
Hiddenfalls pool

Name Calling

I was thinking about how often I say or call names in our home.
I have to clarify “name calling”…..
Jake take your shoes up to your room.
Zoe can you come help me downstairs?
Casey (I don’t call him that…. Usually, it is babe) can you help me?
Sometimes I just say, Rob I love you, or Rob I think you are so handsome (he is a thrilled teenager when that one comes out of my mouth).

So, in regards to Jesus, he was given the name Jesus by the angel before he was conceived in the womb.
(Luke 2:21)

There is power is His name. More than any other name in my home, or outside of my home.

Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it. John 14:13-14

I call names all the time in my home, but this One that carries power in His name…. I must call on His name much more.

Bike Riding Day with God

I seriously just saw the cutest thing ever!!

A few blocks away from school a mom was unloading a little bike out of the back of her van. A little, I mean little boy was standing on the sidewalk with backpack and helmet on. As she placed the bike right beside him, he hopped on and started riding it straight to the school. I could see in his face he was so determined to get that bike going fast and was quickly heading down the street. Although I am not sure he knew it, that van with mom inside continued to slowly drive right beside him.

It brought tears to my eyes as I thought, that right there is so much what the Lord does with us. He at the right time, places us on the sidewalk of life to do His work and although we may think He is far, or has left, or we are to do this alone…. I don’t believe it is a mini-van, but He really is right there beside us driving the van. Helping us, guiding and steering us in the right direction.

Psalm 139 is a beautiful reminder of this truth.

You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.

Unforgiveness and worship

My experience with forgiveness… Am I really going there?? Why yes! Growing up as a PK, I have heard since I was young forgive, forgive, forgive…. Not seven times, seventy-seven times forgive….

Here is my reality with forgiveness. It is hard. That’s it. Hard.
I am not talking about the little spills our children do at the dinner table, or the forgetting to take the trash out on trash pickup day. Sometimes, I pat myself on the back for easily granting forgiveness in those times. But it is those deep rooted, long lasting places of hurt that the Lord is also asking me to forgive.

Is it because somehow He needs it? More than I do maybe? No, not exactly. He knows I need it. He knows I have given that issue, offense, or that hurt and pain a place of importance in my mind and heart.

Follow me with this thought… If I have given that pain or offense residence or a special place in my mind or heart, I begin to place a tremendous value on it. I say things like, “that’s just how I am,” or “I am that way because of the abuse I went through.” “I am just broken.”  If the meaning of worship is is to revere, honor, or respect, how have I turned my unforgiveness into a place that I worship? I have given it a place of honor in my heart, I revere and I give it respect (like, “don’t touch that” respect) and I even make decisions based on my unforgiveness. If I switch that thinking upside down with how I view my pain, hurt or unforgiveness this is what it looks like; by using the antonym or opposite of worship this is the stance I should have with my own unforgiveness….. I should have disdain, disrespect, humiliation, disloyalty, hate for my unforgiveness. Wow, that is really powerful!

The Lord doesn’t ask for us to forgive because it is easy, or simple. He asks because He knows the root of it will take our worship away from Him and will continue to deepen the hurt in our hearts, minds and souls. I also notice the Lord doesn’t give “forgiveness exceptions”, not in regards to wounds by parents or siblings, not our friends or neighbors, not even our children or the person who was texting and driving and rear ended my car…. There is no verse that gives any exception, period.

There are over 100 verses that speak of forgiveness, and over 60 are in the New Testament. Col 3:13 Bear with eachother and forgive….My own testimony is forgiveness of deep hurt from wounds a long time ago, but our God has moved in mighty ways and continues to move in mighty ways through that difficult, and complicated act of forgiveness and continued to help my eyes and devotion to be on Him alone. May I never underestimate the power of the Lord through forgiveness.